Themes to Ride Along

Here’s another crazy song from Afroman! It’s kind of whacked but I’m sure you’ll love this one. Check this out!

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Drive Better Drunk

Afroman

Don’t grab my keys when the party’s over
I drive better drunk, than you do sober

Don’t grab my keys when the party’s over
I drive better drunk, than you do sober

I don’t know what you’ve been told
I’ve been drinkin since 12 years old
Started in 1988
Hangin at the liquor store real real late
I drunk a swallow, I drunk a cup
Drunk the bottle, I threw up
Over the years, I learned to pace it
Get kinda tipsy, but not that wasted
I like beer, but I love malt liquor
Cuz malt liquor, get me drunk quicker
Stop on the freeway, take a whiz
Hop in my Cadillac and handle my biz
I drive better drunk than I do sober
Cuz when I’m sober right
I think I can make through the, red light
Go, go, go, I hope I’m not dead right
But when I’m drunk, I know I can’t
So I ain’t, I drive like a saint
Drinkin is a class I did not flunk
I’m a Colt 45 certified drunk

Don’t grab my keys when the party’s over
I drive better drunk, than you do sober

Don’t grab my keys when the party’s over
I drive better drunk, than you do sober

I dropped outta school in 9-0
Became the world’s greatest wino
I drink at home, I drink at work
Ignore the boss, he just a jerk
I drink 12:00 in the day
Relax my nerve, serve my yay’
When my day go bad, I always drink
Calm down, relax and think
Only days we like to clown
A 24-ounce ‘fore the sun go down
On weekends, that’s when it’s cool
To drink a 40-ounce, and act a fool
Once I get into that zone
I leave that beer and that liquor alone
I can barely walk, I can barely talk
But I can glide that Cadillac like a hawk

Don’t grab my keys when the party’s over
I drive better drunk, than you do sober

Don’t grab my keys when the party’s over
I drive better drunk, than you do sober

I ran from the cops in the rain
With my church shoes on
I drove from Palmdale, California to Compton
Drunk two 40-ounces, Old English 800, the club ended
All the homies left my in the parkin lot toe’ back
Wasn’t nobody out there but me and the sheriff department
Fell asleep on the 14
Woke up on the 405
Fell asleep on the 405
Woke up on the 105
Fell asleep on the 105
Woke up in bed
Call that, uh, autopilot
But don’t try that at home; I got skills
I am to liquor, what the Crocodile Hunter is to alligators
“These crocs, they’re not your ordinary crocs
“You gotta grab them in the mandible”
We can’t find no hotels man (you know what I’m sayin)
So we might have to drive
All day, and all night
I got some music
So it’s alright

All day, and all night
I got some music
It’s alright

All day, and all night
I got some music
It’s alright

All day, and all night
I got some music
It’s alright

All day, and all night
I got some music
It’s alright

Make you feel good
Rollin through the hood
With your windows down
Checkin out your sounds
Just lend me a light
No stress and strive, baby

Afroman is back here on our blog site to give us another hilarious song! Here’s something from “The Good Times” album released in 2001! Check this out!

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Crazy Rap

Afroman

(Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, sright?
Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right?
He was feelin’ his way down the street with this stick, right?
Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I’m sayin’?
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said,
Woooooo, good morning, ladies.

You like that shit, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man.
I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums,
everybody just crowd around the mic, I’ll tell you all these mutha-fuckin’ jokes.
But first, I’ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.)
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that’s all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin’ high as hell flyin’ through Palmdale, skatin’ on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the ‘83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.

If my tapes and my cds just don’t sell, I bet my caddy will.

Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale.
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale.
Well, I was standin’ on the corner sellin’ rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan.
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn’t know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan.
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo’, fucked so long, I grew a fuckin’ afro.
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right. She sucked my dick ’til the shit turned white.
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my ass lookin’ like a ZEBRA!

I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet.
I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin’ with a 2 x 4.
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night.
But I ain’t mad at her prejudiced dad, that’s the best damn pussy I ever had.
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I’m a fuck that bitch just one more time.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that’s all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin’ high as hell flyin’ through Palmdale, skatin’ on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the ‘83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.

If my tapes and my cds just don’t sell, I bet my caddy will.

I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine.
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African.
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice.
Don’t be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia.
Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo.
See, I met this woman from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, Aiiiiieeee!
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch.
Met Colonel Sander’s wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I’ll fry some chicken if you just fuck me.
I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that’s all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out.

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her titties were filled with Hennesy.
That country music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that ass and said, Yes, Miss Daisy!
Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that pussy in a coma.
Met this lady in Michigan; I can’t wait ’til I fuck that bitch again.
Met a real black girl in South Carolina; fucked her ’til she turned into a white albino.
Fucked this hooker in Iowa. I fucked her on credit, so I owe her.
Fucked this girl, down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I thought I told ya.
Met this beautiful sexy ho; she just ran cross the border of Mexico.
Fine young thing, said her name’s Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla.
I wanna get married, but I can’t afford it. I know I’ma cry when she gets deported.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that’s all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.

Have you ever went over to a girl’s house to fuck, but the pussy just ain’t no good? (SAY WHAT?)
And then you’re getting’ upset cause you can’t get her wet, plus you in the wrong neighborhood?
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy, but it takes her so long to come (SAY WHAT?)
Then a dude walks in. That’s her big boyfriend, and he asks you where you from? (Where you from, man?)
So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain (I don’t bang.), you start talkin’ real fast.
But he’s already mad, cause you fuckin’ his wife, so he starts beatin’ on your ass.
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody, your dick was hard but now it’s soft. (WHUT?)
You thought you had a girl to rock your world, now you still gotta go jack off.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that’s all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.

What I mean to say is let’s all get whacked with this song from the Afroman! We all know their genre, and as far as I know, they are one crazy bunch of music makers who carry out the funniest stuff that will definitely tickle our funny bone! Yeah absolutely the best!

This whacked song is all about hip-hop artists and rappers, like Jay-Z, Ludacris etc. and the Afroman calls them the “whacked rappers”! If you want to know why, just read the lyrics below and better sing along with the Afroman! Have fun dude!

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Whack Rappers

Afroman

This next song is dedicated to all wack rappers
And all the wack people that like and buy they wack music
I think you crazy
If you like Jay-Z
Don’t Change Clothes
Change the CD!
Murphy Lee
What the hook gon’ be?
Cause you do need a hook and another beat
Jermaine Dupri, you know you wrong
Fucked up Chingy’s song!
Afro motherfucking M-A-N
Can’t stand no motherfuckin’ Ying Yang Twins
I think Lil’ Jon And The Eastside Boys
Is and ignorant, irritating bunch of noise
If you don’t gave a damn gon’ throw it out {What}
If you don’t gave a damn gon’ throw it out
The windoooooooooow Up against the wall!
Up against the wall, Laugh when the motherfucker fall
These fools can’t rap at all
I never buy your tune from The Neptune
When they beat come on I hope it go off soon
Fabolous? What’s Fabolous about it?
I think you terrible, music unbearable
Ripping off Ma$e
With that look on his face
Aw man, I rest my case
Kelis, wow
I hate her so much right now
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”
Who gave her a record deal? Oh my God!
Nas is in the video with Kelis
Jay-Z is in the video with Beyonce
Both of these rappers are wack
Yet people talk smack about forty Belafonte
The music industry is using the slang
And try to play it off like they doin’ they thang’
Come on Camrom
Oh boy Oh boy Dipset Dipset Oh boy Oh boy
How can you be from a city so black?
And bust shitty lyrics that Whick Whick Wack
Get back on Kelis
Oh yeah Kelis
This is what I want you to do
Get on your knees, face me
I got a milkshake for you and it’s tasty
Just like your album
Puff Daddy, Enough already!
Now it’s P. Diddy
Still sound shitty
How can your group be called ‘Da Band’
Nobody plays an instrument man
I dont play B2K
R&B singers Be Too Gay
You know they broke up over money
Oh yeah
Thats too bad I don’t Care
I think its good, no doubt
They can stop putting all that bullshit out!
Like what
What a girl want, What a girl need
A fuckin’ job and a brand new hair weave
What a girl want, What a girl need
A fuckin’ job and a brand new…

Bump Bump Bump
Now this all I wanna do
Bump Bump Bump
That’s my song That’s what I wrote down on a piece of paper
Bump Bump Bump
Call up Puff Daddy ask him if he wanna do a verse with me
Take that, Take that

Real Pimps get down on the flo’
But I don’t see a hoe, In the video
I know, Why is David Banner runnin’ from The Clan?
What happend to the bitches man?
Hmm.. Cadillac on 22’s
Why is David Banner taking off his shoes?
It’s suppost to be about Cadillacs
Not David Banner bringing dead people back
Even though its all good
It might get misunderstood
Dance skippy Miss Hippy is the hood
Raps Im writing up, I can’t lighten up
Until these wack ass rappers tighten up
Missy Elliot thinks she looks like Halle Berry
That scary
Her CD aint worth it
Pur your money in your pocket and reverse it
Her CD aint worth it
Pur your money in your pocket and reverse it

Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy Elloit makes a bunch of bullshit
Missy… Hey check this out man

I can’t stand her music, going in my ear
If you like Missy Elliot, get the fuck out of here
I can’t stand her music, going in my ear
If you like Missy Elliot, get the fuck out of here
Most rappers are Wack
Just like the people they attract
Most rappers are Wack
Just like the people they attract
Most rappers are Wack
Just like the people they attract
Most rappers are Wack
Just like the people they attract
Trinas on TV, Yeah ooh she fine
Hey homey {Wassup}
Trinas on TV {She cute}
Not when she rapping, press mute
And now we’re gonna play a single from the album ‘Weaveolution’

Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve
Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve
Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve
Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve
Even with a weave, I can’t stand Eve

I cant stand Eve, Thats what I said
She got a pinhead
Most people head is round
Hers go up and down, like a peanut
She could be pretty
If her atttude wasn’t so shitty
Talkin about “Ya trying to come through the back do’”
She aint got no back do’ what she talking smack fo’?
Male bashing with Mary J
Like Queen Latifah she must be gay
In my radio you gets no play
Not today
What the fuck happend to MTV?
Why these wack people get to make a CD?
I don’t know man, Look at 50 Cent
He don’t move his mouth when he rappin’ man
He be rappin’ like Mike Tyson or something
He don’t move his mouth

[Talks like 50 Cent]
Open Yo’ Mouth!
…
‘I’ll teach you how to Stunt’
Teach me how to Stunt?
They need to let me teach em’ how to roll a fat blunt
Get high, get drunk and take it easy
And stop making songs so cheesy!
Now Mannie Fresh is actually fresh
And Juvenile
I like his style
But the worst rapper I ever heard man
Is the wack ass motherfucking Birdman
What about Silkk the Shocker?
My name is Silkk and I’ll shock you
I just been shocked by Silkk the Shocker!